I have a cold. It’s not the end of the world – I am not usually someone who has to retire to bed when a cold happens upon them, so I wasn’t that phased by the thought of a full day’s work, followed by an evening (two nights in a row) of clients.
So I merrily trucked up to my placement and sat down to work, having first done a LOT of nose-blowing and cough-sweet-sucking, and thankfully got through both sessions without an awful lot of either sniffing or coughing. What I DIDN’T realise however, was just how HARD it was going to be. I spent my evening feeling like i was a long.. long.. way away, and whilst I did stay present in the room, I was very much aware of how much harder it was to stay there. It felt to me, like the client and I had good sessions (hopefully they will feel the same!), but my goodness was it hard work!
I count myself lucky at this point: I have a chronic condition that flares up every so often. Thus far, it hasn’t flared up (badly) on a client night, so it hasn’t impacted me, but this has opened my eyes as to what it might be like, and has forewarned me to make sure I give myself extra space and time to recover, so that my clients don’t suffer.
It was an odd feeling – to have something present that meant it was harder for me to connect. I wasn’t distracted at all – there was nothing else i wanted to think of, but I felt like I was struggling to pull myself in to the space, where I wouldn’t usually. I was aware that it was there – it felt a bit like looking down a toilet roll tube, and I could just about pull myself in, certainly in the case of one client, to enable some work to happen that felt very good for them. It shows me at least, that i CAN work when I’m sick, but that possibly I just need to pay more attention to that fact, and go in ‘armed’ as it were (probably with more tissues…)